TRUST ISSUES?

There are two sides to a coin, and just like any story, there are always two or more sides to it. So why flip a coin to the other side when you already know what the outcome would be or listen to the story of a back stabbing person, when you are the victim of their act.

That was the case between Adeola and me.                                         

Adeola....Adeola.....Adeola, where do I start from?

I've known Adeola for over a decade - we attended the same primary and secondary schools before ending up in the same university as course mates.

Our friendship in primary school cannot be defined because we were pretty young then, and even in secondary school, we never really talked except the normal Hello/Hi chit chat as she was in the sciences and I was in the arts. It was my curiosity as to how and why she ended up studying Economics as to other science inclined courses that kick started our friendship, and by second semester of our first year, we had gone from being just friends to best friends. Dee-Dee - as I fondly called her, was of average height, had a bodacious body and was very pretty. She had a smile to die for with a long flowing hair she only had to pack to the back and was good to go. She was very nice and extremely funny, she was my go to person whenever I was bored or down and needed someone to cheer me up.          

She was from a fairly humble background and wasn't as privileged as I was, thus explaining the reason for her poor dress sense and shabby looks most of the time.         

My parents were doing excellent financially and spared no expense getting me whatever I wanted therefore affording me the kind of life any girl my age would want to live and it wasn't long before I started sharing my things with her - provisions, dresses, bags, shoes just name it. My fondness of her knew no bounds and from the first time my mum met her, she fell in love with her. She was that charming and from then onwards, we started calling each other sisters.

When I travelled to England that summer, I made it a point of duty to buy similar things for both of us – clothes, shoes, bags and watches in different color shades just so we could perfect the sister act.

We had become inseparable.

Results for that semester were released and we did well to manage an above average cumulative GPA, so we decided to take a break from school work and build up on our social life. I was eager to get into the dating scene. Not like I was unattractive or didn’t have a nice body, I had loads of boys asking me out, I just wasn’t attracted to most of them, and the one I managed to date in first year was a total waste of time, we were both young and very naïve so broke up after a few months. I was looking to date a much older person, I wanted to lose my virginity as soon as I could – it was beginning to seem like a burden. Whenever Dee-Dee told me stuff about her sex life with her boyfriends, I always wished I could grab a boy off the street and get him to do some of the things she mentioned to me, but it wasn't feasible. Sometimes I would lock myself in the room and touch myself, hoping to feel the same sensation, but I heard nothing was as good as the real thing so I was all out to get myself a man.                                             

I didn’t like any of the guys Dee-Dee introduced to me. Most of them were yahoo-yahoo boys who hardly spoke good English – that irked me a lot, or guys that just wanted to have sex with me and flee, that wasn’t what I wanted. Yes I was desperate for a man, but all I wanted was someone who would love me inside out and not just for my body.  

Asides man hunting; we started frequenting school parties and soon became regular faces at virtually all of them, and I’d never forget the party that changed everything; it was the “Let’s Play Inexcess Party at Tribecca”. When the party fliers started going round school, for the first time in months, I was hesitant about attending. I reasoned it would be like the others, dance, drink, smoke cigarettes till I choke and then deal with a hangover all through the following day, but Dee-Dee was insistent on going and did a good job persuading me. We spent the eve of the party shopping for the perfect outfits and after going round all the boutiques on Opebi/Allen, we finally came up with two very daring short gowns.                                                                                                         

On the day of the party, Dee-Dee had one of the boys at her beck and call come pick us from the front of Moremi hall and drove us to the venue of the party. As soon as were in, she quickly discharged him citing numerous excuses until he finally gave in and we were all by ourselves. The DJ did a good job playing hit songs that got us whining and grinding on each other until one of the waiters called our attention. He had placed a bottle of Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin brut champagne on the table. We looked at each other, surprised at what just happened, I asked him why he dropped the bottle on our table since we were yet to order any drinks, he simply pointed in the direction of the bar and said the drink was from one of the guys sitting there.                                                  

The said guy was backing us so we couldn’t get a clear view of his face and just when I was about to reject the drink, he popped it open, filled up two glass cups and walked away. Without giving me a signal, Dee-Dee picked one of the glasses and sipped the content. She already had a guy she was treating well – grinding and whining hard on his ego. I looked on, stealing glances at the mystery guy, hoping he would look my way, but nothing, so I in turn grabbed the other glass, downed the content and kept dancing.

Then Wizkids-Tease me started blasting out of the speakers and as I danced, out of nowhere someone held me from behind and was flowing with my rhythm. I could tell from his hand that he was light skinned and from his grip he seemed mature. He was a pretty good dancer too and I knew I didn't do badly either because of the way he came alive in his pants. The music soon faded away and a relatively unknown song came on so I used that opportunity to find out who it was I was pleasing. I turned around and found this pretty boy with a towering height with a light skinned complexion that radiated around the room standing before me, apparently he was also the guy at the bar.

Jackpot, I've found my man.

He introduced himself as James and we talked for a few minutes before he walked away to the bar to get his friend.

Dang!!! He spoke English so eloquently with a bit of British accent in his tone - I almost had an episode of syncope.

He returned soon after with his friend who was also good looking but wasn't as ravishing as he was and in a split second Dee-Dee jumped from the guy she was dancing with to James' friend whose name was later revealed to be Bimbo. More bottles of champagne were ordered and we drank and danced till the wee hours of the morning. He put Dee-Dee and I in a cab that chauffeured us back to school that morning but not after exchanging phone numbers, blackberry pins and sharing a warm hug.

Arghhhh, it was love at first sight.

His call woke me up from a terrible hangover that Friday afternoon and I couldn't stop blushing and smiling during the call and even after he hung up. We got chatting later and I found out he was an alumni of my school and was managing his dad’s law chamber. A few days later he came to see me in school with lunch and drinks for me and my roommates. We sat in his car and talked and I can’t forget that was the day we shared our first kiss. It was very passionate. He asked me to be his girlfriend immediately after the kiss and it got me speechless. I was shocked and very excited at the same time because I wasn't expecting it and in as much as I wanted to say yes on the spot, I didn’t want to look cheap so I told him I'd get back to him on it. I played on his feelings for two weeks before finally agreeing to date him.                                                  

Adeola on the other hand had already had sexual relations with Bimbo and both of them were no longer on talking terms, but I didn't want to be bothered about her man issues, I was in love and that was all that mattered. James kept coming to check me in school and I frequently visited him at home too but we were yet to have sex, so the day he asked me to come over and spend a night at his place, I was overjoyed.

Yes the time had come.

That night, he took me and treated me like a queen. It was magical. There was a lot of pain but it was sweet pain. I soon stopped clubbing; drinking and doing everything James didn't want me doing.                                                                                        

Two years on and we were still good up till his work started taking him away most of the time. Sometimes he would go for months, and when he finally had time for me, our conversation was never void of work related things. I still loved him very much and I knew he felt same way and I respected the fact that it was his job and whatever he was doing was for a good purpose but sometimes I felt lonely and rejected.                   

When I told Dee-Dee about it she advised I got a boy on the side, preferably someone in school that I could have stuff with without James having an idea about anything. I thought about it for some days and when James called to inform me that he would be away for another month, I figured that was my cue to give it a try. Yomi was in my Faculty, and had been asking me out for a while, he was cute, funny and adorable and I liked him a bit so I agreed to date him but not after I told him about James and he stated categorically that didn’t have a problem with it.                              

But we didn’t last long as everything ended six months later after I got pregnant and he denied the paternity of the baby. Dee-Dee took me to a doctor who helped with aborting the pregnancy and I was full of thanks for her. I started missing what I had with James and regretted ever having anything to do with Yomi.                                                           

One weekend when I knew he was around I decided to pay him a surprise visit so I packed my bags and headed to his 1004 apartment from school. I rang the bell and he came out to open the door sweating profusely in his towel. He refused to let me in and was adamant I talked about whatever I had to say outside. I was surprised at his behavior and when I tried to wrestle him to let me in, he pushed me back towards the railing and started calling me names, names only someone that knew about my relationship with Yomi would call me. He knew about the abortion and everything that happened between Yomi and I. I was shell shocked and heartbroken; I didn’t want to conclude it was Dee-Dee that spilled the beans until I saw someone walk through the living room in plain underwear. A closer look revealed it to be her and I cried myself out as I left the apartment.                                                                                                         

I trusted Adeola more than I trusted myself, I treated her like my sister, I confided in her about everything but she stabbed me in the back and took the one thing that mattered most to me. She encouraged me to date Yomi, I did, she insisted I went to the club with her; I did too, if only I knew. She called me two days ago to apologize and said she had an explanation for what happened. How do you explain revealing your friends secret to her boyfriend and sleeping with him afterwards?                                                                       

It hurts to see someone you trust hurt you.