WHAT IS LOVE?

I think I experienced love for the first time when I was in secondary school, SS1 to be precise. The girl in question was a year my senior and had just come into the school the year before. She was arguably the most beautiful girl in school......model physique, cute and she had a good height. We got talking and really close that other students started suspecting something was up and there were occasions where some of my seniors that were her classmates would threaten me to stay clear when in the real sense of it there was nothing going on.

I didn't understand the extent of the feelings I had until the day I heard she was transferring from that school and to make matters worse she was also leaving the country I think that marked the beginning of me shedding tears in matters that related to the opposite sex. I really liked her and I felt bad about it for a while and then summer came around, she traveled and I had to move on. I wasn't really a bad student in school the only thing I think I was notorious for was being a *serial sniper*. Serial sniper in the sense that between senior school one and three I dated whatever girl I wanted it was like a point and kill kind of thing.

And then love came calling again this time around I think she was the hottest girl in school. She had gone from an *A* cup to a DD (y) in less than a year. She was like the Sofia Vergara of the school apparently I had tried to set this p back in SS1 but my game was too weak and so I gave it a shot a second time and lo and behold luck shone one me this time as she agreed to date me. We used to talk all the time, sit together during geography classes and it was all fun until the Christmas of that year. We had been having issues and on Christmas day I felt I had taken enough of it all so I called it quits.....trust me it didn't take me 18hrs to realize that was a wrong move so I went to her house as soon as I could and begged her and we were back on track soon afterwards. But I guess we weren't meant to last as we were quarreling over little things and I remember that sunny Tuesday afternoon after school I just told her mehn I love you but a nigga can't take anymore.

I should have just walked away after that heartbreaking rendition as I was soon made to pay for the extra minutes I waited for expecting her to beg me. She just looked at me, smiled and said Oyakhire I dated you out of pity so I'm cool with whatever decision you have made. I felt miserable but then moving on wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. 

First year in University was fun but I was already getting tired of my single status. September 2007 I was surfing Hi-5 checking one or two profiles until I came across this one girl.  We started sending each other messages online and soon after exchanged digits it wasn't long before we decided to hook up and see each other one on one. October 2 was the day we picked planned to meet at the galleria. She was really shy,  and so while we were talking she found it hard giving me eye contact. In terms of beauty she wasn't Like any of my exes but that ((((((Bum)))))) can sit like 8 glass cups lol and that day I found out we had some mutual friends and one was actually her next door neighbor so when she left I called our friend and that one was just like dude ask her out she seems to be really into you whatever you did today made a big impression on her and so after much juicing and normal promises we became official the following day Oct 3. She was yet to decide what Uni she would go to and since my school was in Ogun state, i pleaded with her to pick a school that I won't have a problem visiting should the need arise. She felt if we were in the same school seeing each other on a daily basis might lead to us breaking up plus she also wanted to go somewhere far from home.......long and short of it is she ended up in a school that's like three states away from Lagos and Two states away from my school. Immediately I told her my stance.....don't expect me to come all the way to that place in the name of love. We managed to work around this for like a year but in the second year we started feeling the impact of distance in our relationship. Whenever we talked over the phone our most constant conversations were always when am I going to see you? What would you do to me when you see me? Can't wait to see you and all the other stuff that comes with long distance relationships and then whenever we got to see we always felt like strangers around each other. I did love her but then things started getting out of proportion and the funny thing is throughout the relationship she never yelled at me or talked back whenever I was ranting or venting my anger about something......I guess she was already getting tired of US. Last Sunday in July 2008 we had a long talk and then I realized I'd been treating her badly and so we agreed to meet up during the week and talk things over but this never happened. That evening I called back cos I missed her and wanted to hear her voice and after trying numerous times without getting through I decided to call her bestfriend.........I didn't like her and I knew the feeling was mutual and so I wasn't expecting a warm welcome but then again I wasn't ready for what she was about to tel me.....I said * hey how are you please have you heard from Rachel been trying to call her but her number isn't going through* she said * she has gone to Ghana ooo her flight was impromptu I thought it was a joke until days went by and then weeks and reality started to set in. She was done with me and she had to do it in the meanest way ever and two weeks later precisely August 13  I got the much awaited call and I asked *why did you have to go about it this way I don't want to believe you are in Ghana but this isn't fair and all she said was I'm sorry I just can't deal with you and you issues anymore bye* and that was it. It was hard and easy to deal with this one because i was just about to fix my mistakes and get things back in order but it was late but I had met someone else while we were still dating and even though there was no intention of making anything official at that time, i just pumped all the negative and positive energy towards her. I took her digits off my sisters phone and we just got talking from then on......my sis warned me to stay off the P without giving any reason but I just thought it was her protecting her friends from me. Bimpe and I got very close and after a few weeks we were already Talking about hooking up. We finally agreed on a date and a restaurant in Ogba axis  was going to be the meet up point. Wasn't too sure about what to expect so I purposely went there late and on getting there I saw this very very beautiful girl she had this innocent look we sat and talked briefly and then I left. The next time I saw her I think the move I made sealed the deal, we had been talking about a second date but I was very skeptical about it I had started liking her but didn't want to be forward and I didn't know if she felt same way. On September 4 during one of our midnight call sessions  she asked me why I hadn't come to see her and I spilled the beans about not being sure about feelings and all.....she took that statement very personal and started throwing tantrums she eventually hung up and didn't take any of my calls that night.....being the mushy person I am I stayed up all night trying to devise a plan and in the morning I got rewarded. The driver was around as early as 8am the following morning cos he had to get my dads mails from the post office in Ikeja so without thinking twice I hurriedly brushed my teeth dressed up and followed him to Ikeja so as soon as he's done getting the mails he would take me to her house I didn't tell her I was coming I just got my cousin to confirm the address and that she was home. Pulled up at her residence at exactly 9:15 that morning and when she saw me she didn't believe I pulled the stunt she immediately took back everything she said the previous night and everything was cool. Spent about 20mins and then I left I got home feeling a bit fulfilled but then I knew we still had to see so as soon as I finished doing whatever thing I had to do I faced Ogba again and then for the first time we had a proper one on one conversation. Between Saturday and Monday we talked extensively about what we both wanted and on Monday September 7 we were official. We had it good and I remember her birthday didn't get to see what I got her because i ordered it and it got delivered straight to her but we spent most of the day together. I didn't take note of the little things and that's where we started having issues. First was I didn't address her birthday card myself I really didn't think it was anything but it meant a whole lot to her. And then came Feb 14 I think our relationship ended this day........it was a beautiful sunny Sunday and I was in church when she sent me a well composed SMS I couldn't help it but blush and then I replied it. I was back home and we had this petty argument  I was supposed to go pick up her stuff and deliver it to her but I thought to myself *its not compulsory I get you something now* I don't need one day to show you that I love you so instead I swapped her gift for a table full of booze. She didn't complain that day but i knew something was up. I had fallen head over heels for this girl i couldn't go an hour without talking to her i think its fair to say i was already obsessing. Summer of 2010 I had so much stuff going for me it got so bad at a point I just couldn't keep up anymore but its love we are talking about here so I did whatever I could do just to keep the relationship afloat. I remember our first year anniversary, she was in England that time and I thought to myself if could keep the flame burning for this long then i guess we can even take it further than this. My guess was wrong as it wasn't going to be so.....we used to argue a lot too and i know how much of an irritant i could be at times but i always thought as long as i loved her, every other thing was next to that, i was wrong again. My friends and everybody around me saw all the emotion I was putting into the relationship and tried to warn me to calm down but it fell on deaf ears.......I had gotten to a point of no return. I was always scared that one day something would happen and she would walk out on us and i never failed to let her know my mind. She just had a perfect way of calming my nerves...*Kireyy i promise id not leave you, i love you too much to want to hurt you* and that conversation ends there. A week before her birthday, i was in her school seeing her alone always got me ecstatic.....with her i felt like i was superman, there was just this thing about her i cant explain it but whenever i was around her i felt peace and serenity. The events of that weekend would later ruin what was once a perfect relationship. Before i left her school we had a big fight over the silliest of things that once again meant so much to her but i didn't consider as anything. That whole week leading to her birthday we hardly spoke and even when we did it was very awkward and then on her birthday i saw her in the morning in Lagos plus i had to get her gift across to her that evening in school, I got to her school pretty late so we didn't get to see till the following day.

She came to the guesthouse where i lodged the following day and i don't think id ever forget this day till i die. She was wearing a red skirt suit and looking pretty as usual and just when i was about starting peace talks with her she said * Oyakhire do you know why ive been acting this way?? You want to know what’s on my mind right??? Well im done with you i don't think i can continue with this anymore*. I felt like my world had literally crumbled i caught cold feet immediately. I tried to hide the emotion but tears started dripping down my face. She wasn't phased by my actions.....her mind was already made up. 

Took me close to a year to finally get over this but from each one of them there was a lesson learnt somewhere. It doesn't mean id give up on love, it doesn't mean id look down on girls in any way, it doesn't mean id end up being a player it just means id be careful next time. And for girls that end up becoming hoes as a result of heartbreaks there is really nothing to justify your actions. With every relationship i get in and out of i always take something along with me at times i look back and want to curse the day i met some of my exes but then its just a phase. Some people give up on love totally just because of someone’s mistake and it shouldn’t be so. To everybody searching for a perfect partner there is nothing of that sort....girls want to date macho and buff and good looking guys but is he going to be there when you need him, can he go all the way with you? When you go into a relationship because of money one day money would drop you somewhere and all you would need is companionship but it might be too late for that.

From my own story it takes more than love to make a relationship work.....yes love should be the nucleus of every basic relationship but then other things are involved...Understanding, money, the ability to forgive and overlook your partners downside and soo many other things. You can’t force love or expect that because you are attractive, smart or putting so much effort into it you should be loved back. LOVE JUST HAPPENS, AT TIMES YOU CANT PICK OR DECIDE WHO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH.

I didn’t put this story up to be judged or anything, this is me being me as guys no matter how tough or mean we try to be we all have a heart inside us and there is always that one person who would break through the firewall of your hearts and cause you heartbreak. Mine might seem one too many but i admit i was a catalyst to some of them not working out.

LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL IVE FELT IT AND I KNOW WHAT IT IS..........